Church is a Masquerade
Posted: December 10, 2012 Filed under: InspirationStuff | Tags: Blog, christianity, church, Creativity, education, God, Humor, Inspiration, Life, school, why are you reading the tags 18 Comments »
Painting by Chrissy Angliker
I don’t know about you, but I have some really awesome friends. Two of them, David and Wes, decided to invite me to go to church with them on Sunday. Just like me, they don’t normally go to church on Sunday either, but we thought we’d give it a shot this time. We just wanted to check out what’s up with the local church nowadays. The service is usually held in our old high school, so we were familiar with the campus and a few faces here and there.
The actual preaching session wasn’t anything special, but it had some really good things about it, too. The pastor talked about hope, so it was encouraging for me in a personal manner. By the way, that’s one thing that I noticed about church. Pastors almost always take a big, vague concept and try to dissect it as much as possible. In doing so, however, they sometimes make it even bigger and more vague. The worship music was pretty alright, but the guy who was singing behind me had really bad breath, and whenever he sang stretched-out words like “holy” or “love” it just didn’t work well for my nostrils.
Anyway, after the service was over, the church-goers mingled in the foyer for a few minutes. My friends and I decided to mingle as well. We split up and talked to random people. I tried to see how long I could hold one conversation, and the longest I went was two minutes. I was asked two questions every time: 1. How are you? 2. What are you doing these days?
Usually after I had answered those two questions, my conversational partner would dismiss the conversation with, “Well, it was nice talking to you! I’ll see you around!” and move on to talk to the next person for at most two minutes. Small talk. It’s just a polite thing to do, isn’t it? I guess it’s socially unacceptable to talk about the deepest secrets of our hearts in a foyer filled with Christian church-goers.
David noticed two types of people: People engaged in conversation, and people looking to engage in conversation. I, too, never spotted anyone walking somewhere with purpose. Well, a few kids ran to the table with free cookies. But other than that, people were either making small talk or wandering around aimlessly. It felt like a Christian masquerade, where the attendees masked their real faces with holy ones and acted poshly proper. I felt like if I had invited an atheist to come with me, he’d have punched me straight in the throat for wasting his time.
After mingling inside the foyer for a few minutes, I met up with my friends outside the building. We shared our thoughts about what we had just experienced, and David also pointed out that there was a specific age group missing in this church. There were tons of high schoolers aged 13 to 18, school faculty or dormitory assistants aged 23 to 30, students’ parents (40+), grandparents (60+), random elderly Germans, and teachers (25+), but no 18 to 22-year-olds!
When I was a young teenager, I’d look up to the young adults (18-22). I would watch how they talk, how they walk, how they act, and how they sleep. They were the cool ones, the group I respected the most, other than my parents. As a high school student, you can learn SO MUCH from that age group, because they’re relatable. They were in your shoes just a few years ago. But that was the group, that crucial age group for teenagers, that was missing in church. Where are they, then? In college, for the most part.
So that church experience left me with this summary: A somewhat boring but encouraging preaching session, average-quality music, short, meaningless, impersonal, politeness-driven conversations after the service, free cookies, and the absence of the very age group that brings the most amount of energy, fun, and creativity to the table.
I thought about how the Bible says that Christians are supposed to like a city on a hill – something that people can look at and say, “Wow! They’ve got something we don’t have! We want some of that stuff, too, because it’s awesome!” The church I attended with my friends was no such thing. I don’t want to go back there again, other than for the free cookies. Maybe.
Now, brothers and sisters, tell me about the best or the worst church experience you’ve had in the comment section.
I will leave you with one of my favorite verses from the Bible:
“And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” – John 3:16
Amen.
You are so right! The 18-22s are missing from churches and it’s sad. I was missing from mine when I was in that bracket too. I went to a Christian university and had weekly Chapel, so I didn’t go on the weekends. Hope you find a church you like! It can take a while. Blessings ~w
I’ve never found a church or religion that comes close to the sacredness I fell when I connect with the deepest experience I know not by the name of God.
I think my worse church experiences were going to church with my younger siblings when they were toddlers. They were always misbehaving and loud (actually I don’t think that’s changed a lot with age). And somehow I always ended up being the one to take them in the room they had in the basement because they were making too much noise upstairs. We hardly ever went to church, but I can’t say I got much out of it when we did.
It’s funny how they put the children in the basement when they’re making too much noise. If you say that you didn’t get much out of it when you did attend church, then what exactly were they disturbing in the first place, right?
Nice play on words with the verse and verse reference.
I observe the same phenomenon in churches and feel a similar mixed-up-ness. Preaching doesn’t matter to me at all and conversations tend to be on the shallower end. I do have the fortune of being in a smaller church with a high population of good musicians so our music is pretty good…but then it’s always the same. We have learned how to create the ideal “worship music product” and we stick to it.
Sometimes I like to change it up and ask people, especially upon a first meeting, “Who are you?” and watch them squirm. Some times people catch the invitiation to be real and take it…other times they default to saying what they do.
My experience, though, has been that deep down, people really want to be open and real. I sometimes take the risky step of being honest abotu who I am(insert sentence with buzz words “vulnerable” and “authentic”) and almost every time, as deep as I go, they do just about as deep. On an individual level, seems like people are interested in being more than superficial…just takes some coaxing.
Worst church experience…being kicked out of the youth group I was working in because they suspected I was gay.
Best church experience…well a good one recently was when one of my pastors asked my opinion about a counseling matter and took my thoughts seriously.
We should be friends.
“Who are you?” That’s a great question to ask people. I noticed that, when asked that question, more than 50% of people don’t know how or are unable to answer it. And yeah, people need a place where they can be open and real. You can’t really do that in big churches, because chances of misinterpretation, miscommunication, and gossip are too high. And even if you are open and honest, it will almost always backfire. I know of countless pastors who have started churches, have opened their hearts to the church, and then have been kicked out of their own church by their own church.
Then let’s be friends.
Yay friends!
In answer to your first question…not many. Which, now that I think about it, I’m not sure yet what that says about our church. We’re a smaller group of less than 200 and only a few years…most of the people that come to us are transplants from other churches and a lot of us are Bible College alumni. We do great at discipleship and community stuff but honestly don’t have a lot of people come fresh off the streets. Honestly, unless someone was actively seeking a spiritual journey, I don’t know if I’d invite someone there for their first taste of Christianity…
What would you look for in a church if you wanted to take a not-Christian there for their first time?
To be honest with you, I wouldn’t take a non-Christian to a church for their “first time”. I’d take them to my home, invite some friends, drink some beer, eat steak and salad, and talk about, for example, what in the world the kingdom of God is. That’s fellowship. Sitting in uncomfortable chairs and listening to one guy preach for 1.5 hours is not fellowship.
The 18-22 year olds are probably missing because of the education system. It is not designed for creative, personal thinking. The world at large also encourages younger people to do some serious “Experimentation,” which can lead down paths of death. On another point, most 18-22′s are in college, an environment which is proven likely to tear down Christianity.
I’m sorry you didn’t have a great Church experience. I don’t usually defend, but I have to say, the church I attend is full of 18-22 year olds. But, a lot of us were either homeschoolers, didn’t go to college, or didn’t spend a lot of time in college. I think college is a huge part of it.
I agree with you. But I wonder why college is a hurtful environment for Christians? Maybe the foundations weren’t laid correctly. Maybe Christians are just not making Christianity attractive at all, so the students resort to things like legal prostitution (having sex with as many people as possible), getting wasted, and partying until their brains fall out. If church doesn’t change in the near future, I wouldn’t be surprised if college students would rather party naked than reading two Bible verses.
Our church actually specializes in the 18 – 22 year old group. The churches (and the one I attend has sent out several ‘plants) are specifically for college towns and try to set up as close to the college as possible. The conversation is a LOT more lively than what you experienced, probably because of the diverse age groups (we have the full range, we people like myself being on the right-hand side of that curve). We have a very large attendance (around 1500 – 1800) and FREE DONUTS AND COFFEE that you can bring into the sanctuary with you! It is a very casual and very open environment that somehow still manages to allow the Spirit to flow freely. It makes a big difference when you have a full mixture of ages and ethnic backgrounds.
Sounds great. How many people, on average, does your church convert to Christianity every week?
Since that is a private matter between the Pastors and the person involved (they don’t make a grand show of it), I couldn’t tell you. I do know that in the couple of years that I’ve gone there attendance has really grown (three services) and they DO NOT encourage people to switch from any of the other local churches, they discourage it strongly.
I’m not religious either, but I’m fascinated by churches – the places. I remember going to mass in Rwanda once, the service was over 2 hours in all and I saw people talking and chatting amongst themselves throughout and when it was time to sing they went through the motions but nothing more really. I found it a bit sad. I do believe in something, and when I sing to that or connect with that it feels very meaningful and I find it easy to be reverential, but I saw no real reverence that day, just a social gathering. Personally I think we all need something/someone to honour and celebrate.
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I used to go to a nondenominational christian church from 2007 to oct of 2011. What a great church, the pastor and his wife are amazing, great sense of humor and humility. I love how the church never passed around the basket to collect money and the church goers didnt seemed pressured to dress a certain way. There were so many different cultures… Hispanic, caribbean, white and african americans, asian, some middle eastern, europeans… It was awesome to see many cultures unite.
Hiwever, i never engaged in cinversation wih anyone. Mostly because i always had plans for sunday that i wiuld just go and come back home to continue with my day. I tried joining the youth group but they were a bit toi young for me and werent as culturally diverse. Honestly, i couldnt relate, besides believing in God. I did women’s bible study for a few months and i really enjoyed it. But because the church is far from home, bible study in tuesday nights after work began to seem like a burden. I did engage in great conversation with the women there though.
The music was always in point. They mixed music… Rock, reggae, salsa, ballads, rnb, funk… It was great.
Coming to think of it, why did i stop going?
I’ve only ever been to three services in my entire life. The most recent was a few years back. It was the year my grandfather died. Our local arena was being dedicated to him and the dedication was taking place during the opening ceremonies of the fall fair, which happened to take place on a Sunday morning. As it happens, every year a different local church puts on their Sunday service during the ceremony. I had no idea this was happening and by the time I realized what was going on it was too late, I was stuck. That year the service was put on by a local Pentecostal church called ‘The Dream Centre’ I have to say it was a little much for me. People swaying back and forth, hands in the air, shouting hallelujah and so on. Others shook and mumbled to themselves speaking in tongs and there was a woman painting a picture with her eyes closed. The sermon itself was short, and consisted mostly of cheesy Jesus jokes, and the hymns were sort of Christian rock/folk like. My family and I looked at one and other not knowing quite what to think, but we made it through. I mean no disrespect to anyone of the faith, but it wasn’t really my cup of tea. An interesting experience though nonetheless!
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